New-age husbands

I was just wondering a few days back, how the situation has changed in an educated Indian household over the last few years. Men no longer are the only bread winners in the family with contribution coming in even from their better halves. It has changed for the better, no doubt and I totally support it. However, there are some buckets in this country where, still, the situation is a lot male dominated and the women folk have to do all the household chores. I have some friends who also believe in this principle as well but not me.

I think a household is run by two people working together in tandem and in harmony. Understanding each other’s shortcomings and helping each other overcome them is the fun and challenge that a couple face in their initial years. That has its own charm. Knowing the other persons quirks and responding or even handling it is exciting in itself. Yes, there might be sometimes when it gets out of control but then getting things back on track is also enjoyable.

Moms from the 70s or 80s could be aptly termed as super human beings; managing work as well as household (as the male perception had not changed much in those days). They used to get up early, cook lunch for the entire family, pack up and go to work, come back, cater to their children and finally cook dinner  (again for the entire family). The male members role was simple; get up, read the newspaper while having tea (made by his wife), have breakfast (again cooked by wife dearest), go to work, come back in the evening, have dinner, watch T.V and crash out. If we compare the level of activities done by both the members in the household, the former's contribution sounds terrific, doesn’t it? And that’s why I’ve taken the liberty to call them super-moms. No doubt even those mothers who were house-wives could be termed as super-women but they atleast had a little bit of relaxation in the afternoons when they would be all by themselves (after the morning whirlwind)! But just imagine the running around that must be taking place everyday during those years.

However, things have changed in a lot of homes these days (atleast in those which I’m aware of). Husbands take an active interest in the household chores; may it be drying clothes, cleaning around the house, or even cooking. It might not be voluntary but atleast it is done with the intention of reducing the burden off their counterparts. The fact that men have started thinking in this manner is in itself a positive change and a proof of their upbringing which has been done in an environment wherein girls have been treated with equal amount of respect. So, with equal (well almost) amount of work done by both, the husband and wife, chances of one being a super human being have drastically reduced these days…:-)

The qualities of the super women from yesteryears seem to have been equally divided among men and women these days. Both work and both contribute equally in the household. That’s the way it should be, isn’t it? However, I also feel that these “new-age husbands” are also confused somewhere down the line. They would love their wives to cook for them everyday (which is definitely not possible), take care of the maids, keep themselves updated with the stock of food at home, clean-up the refrigerators etc. and on the other hand they would also like them not to stress themselves out doing all these things…:P (definitely confused). I love cooking and I help my wife a lot of times with that. I find it a great stress buster and I feel liberated looking at my creation..LOL. However, I still wish that my kids grow up to remember and say “Oh, maa ke haath ka khana”, instead of “Oh, dad ke haath ka khana,” (didn’t I mention, they are confused!). 

Singing Sens(less)ation!!!

I love music and I love singing…I always have. As a child I always believed that I sing really well and so, used to do it quite ritually throughout our short trips. However, this misconception of mine was broken by my music teacher when I was in 7^th or 8^th I guess. We had to audition for some group song and he asked me to step out from the group!! Me??!! Well, he said my voice was different than the group..So I contested – isn’t it a good thing that my voice stands out from the group..even Md. Rafi was discovered like that!!! He said, no, by stand out I mean, not in the right scale..Aah..I remember how furious I was then and how bad I felt after reaching home….How can he call me “besura”…..Something happens to our voice during that age..a sweet little voice suddenly sounds as if coming out of out of order gramophone..It happens to most of us and so I believed I was just a victim of time…nothing else.

I was good with lyrics as a kid (I believe I am still). So, it was natural that someone who knows his songs so well should sing well also :(…I used to be the trump card for all the uncles during our “antakshari” sessions coz I could dig out songs from any movie and starting with any letters. It has also lead to quarrels at times as well as to which team will I belong…Aah..what footage, what demand!! And my music teacher came out and told me outright to stay out of the group song???!! How could’ve the song been complete without me??!!! So I kept wondering as to why couldn’t I sing songs in the proper scale, pitch and blah blah…Then, finally one day, after observing a lot of good singers, I reached to a conclusion. I concentrate more on the lyrics, their timing and the pronunciation than the above mentioned high quality stuff that good singers concentrate on.

I was also good at singing in different voices. I used to sing in the way Kumar Sanu, Udit Narayan, S.P.B (there weren’t many singers that time as it is now). Different cassette manufacturers’ output quality would be imitated by me depending who is on top on my list at that moment. Usually I used to screw up Venus’ audio quality, coz, as per my observation (as a kid ofcourse), its cassettes had a very short life. Then I realized, all this entertaining people has cost me my lovely voice..I won’t be able to sing well now like I used to and so, I continued doing what people said I was good at (unlike my music teacher)!! Same thing happened with my guitar teacher. He asked us if anyone knew an old hindi song…and obviously me being me was the only one who knew the song..I started the song and he went bonkers and asked me to stop the next moment..:( now I tell you what happens with all these artists…they concentrate too much on the singer and play the instrument accordingly…Guys!!! Take the lead!!! Even you can become leaders..let the singers follow you…let them stick to your scale that you are playing..Not my fault…

Fortunately, I have always been surrounded by people who sing well. First it was my mom and sister, then it was a very good friend of mine and now it’s my wife. She sings very well and what could be better for a person who loves music to have a partner who loves to sing for him? So this friend of mine used to teach my some parts of a song and I would “try” singing them. Finally, I gave up. But, I designed another strategy this time….:P I observed him singing a particular song more than a couple of times and I did what we Indians are best at...I started imitating him…Lol…To my surprise I started singing that song (yes, only that song) pretty well (based on people’s opinion). The song's also my personal all time favorite, so just an incentive to sing just fine atleast sometimes. I have dared myself in doing karaoke (I have successfully sang “Hotel California” and  “Nothing else matters” :O ) as well, and I sing at some of our parties at home too. But all this can happen only under two circumstances – either when I am drunk or when everyone else around me is..:P

Lot of people have told me about my "singing skills" at different stages of my life..teachers, friends, relatives etc. But I haven’t got disheartened or discouraged at all and I keep looking for that perfect scale in the songs I sing (Yeah right!!!). Actually, I get bored trying to sing properly. It’s too much of an effort, too much concentration and hardly any results. As in, you put in everything in the song and by the end of it someone comes up and asks “What’s wrong with you today?”…So why put in the effort at all? (J)..and being a Virgo, I am happy with pointing out mistakes and correcting people with their lyrics than their “sur”…However, I can make out if a singer's screwing up the song but can’t point it out for my own singing (Sigh!!!!)…So, the child in me still believes that a day will come when I get up one morning and start singing perfectly, in the right scale, right pitch, and right tune just like the great Kishore Kumar (no formal training)…LOL